| Four
time frames are specified by the Jewish tradition to help
wean the mourner from his natural grief.
One
Day - Or the period between death and burial. By tradition,
the mourner is to be left alone with no company at home,
except the closest of family and friends who bring food
for the grieving family's meals.
Shivah
- This means "seven" and refers to the week of formal mourning
in the home(s) of the bereaved. The count begins with the
day of burial, and a full day is counted no matter the burial
time. Mourners leave their home on the Sabbath (Friday night,
Saturday morning, and Saturday afternoon) to attend synagogue
services and recite the Kaddish there. Otherwise, the Kaddish
is recited, in the presence of a Minyan, at services at
home. Any part of the 7th day is counted as a whole day,
(usually one hour in the morning).
Shloshim
- 30 days. The mourners "rise" from Shiva after 7 days (3
days are permitted in circumstances of hardship), and return
to work, school or other routines, but engage in no happy
events or entertainment.
Year
- (Eleven months) The formal mourning period ends with the
"Dedication" or "Unveiling" of a permanent tablet marking
the deceased's resting place. A candle is lit at sundown,
and kaddish recited.
By
ritual, only the following are considered mourners:
Parents
Children
Siblings
Note
that no in-laws, no grandchildren or grandparents are included
in this ritual category. However, this does not minimize
the emotional impact on such people.
Minyan. Defines 10 Jews whose presence constitutes a ritual
quorum that define "community."
Services are held in the mourners' home(s):
Shacharit - Morning Service. Minchah - Afternoon Service
(noon to sundown). Maariv - Evening Service - After sundown.
Often the Minchah is said the last part of the afternoon,
with a slight break when the Maariv can be recited after
sundown, thus "combining" these Services.
Keriah
- Literally, "cutting," and refers to cutting either the
clothing as in traditional families, or the ribbon appended
to clothing of the mourners. Surviving children have the
cut made on the left side (or lapel), while spouses, parents'
and siblings' cuts are made on the right side, both near
the heart. Those involved stand while either the Rabbi or,
at his request, the Director, make the tear. The cutting
may be made either in the Chapel or at the interment site
at the Rabbi's direction.
A
Shiva candle is given the family, to light immediately upon
arrival at home after the funeral. It will burn the 7 days
of Shivah, and may be said to reflect the idea that the
Soul of Humankind is the Flame of God.
Mourners
recite Kaddish daily. Families observe the anniversary of
the death, called the Yahrzeit, or Anos, according to the
Jewish Calendar. It always begins at sundown on the eve
prior to the date, and ends the next sundown.
Unveiling
or Dedication refers to the formal ceremony of the tablet
marking the deceased's last resting place. Usually (but
not necessarily) done prior to or on the 11th month following
death, it is the symbolic removal of the cover placed on
the marker, accompanied by prayers and the Kaddish. |
